“Hate-watch” is defined as “watching [something] for the sake of the enjoyment one derives from mocking or criticizing it.” I think that kind of sums up my feelings about the Fast & Furious franchise, which is now improbably in its ninth full-length film plus a spinoff in the form of Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. What started out as a small crew, led by Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), who drove souped-up muscle cars to hijack trucking shipments, now finds this “family” of drivers, thieves, and hackers somehow thrust into a situation where they need to travel the globe—and into space!—to save the world from a cyberterrorism attack.
I think I’ve seen all of the movies in the franchise but I’d be lying if I thought I could explain how we got to the events of Fast & Furious 9, or attempt to untwist all of the complex relationships—he/she’s betrayed us; he/she’s dead; he/she’s back again—that have happened over the course of the automotive soap opera that is the previous films.
Honestly, though, understanding any of those prior films and having a lot of backstory knowledge of them isn’t really important to watching—hate or otherwise—FF9. In fact, I’m not sure I can totally unravel all of the plot points of for you. About five minutes into the film, I turned to my wife and said, “Wait. We’re in the jungle now . . ?” and trying to describe the movie to a co-worker made me feel a bit like Winona Ryder’s character in Reality Bites attempting to define “irony” during a job interview.
The best thing to do with this film—along with about any
FF9 AT A GLANCE
The ultimate car-chase franchise strikes out in new directions—even outer space—leaving all plausibility behind.
Although taken from a 2K digital intermediate, the image quality is so terrific throughout—just clean, sharp, and detailed—you’d think it was a 4K DI transfer.
The aggressive Atmos mix uses all of the speakers to immerse you in the action, with your subwoofer getting a nice workout as well, delivering a satisfying low-end that can rattle your couch.
recent entry in the Fast franchise—is to check your sense of reality at the door, grab a bowl of popcorn, turn off the lights, and just let all of the glorious action wash over you. Why are things happening? How are things happening? Is that even possible?!? Quiet, Poindexter, you’re thinking too much! Just expect that this film will do virtually everything short of literally jumping a shark.
You’ve likely heard the saying “Give the people what they want,” which is clearly a message long-time series director and writer Justin Lin took to heart. While the film has a meager Rotten Tomatoes critics’ rating of 59%, it racked up a near-franchise high 82% audience score, so Lin clearly understands the formula—action, action, and more action!—his fans expect.
Similar to the upcoming James Bond film, FF9 was never going to be released anywhere but the movie theater, and it had five different release dates between 2019 and 2021 before finally hitting theaters on June 25. Producers were right to wait, as the film has brought in nearly $625 million at the global box office to date, making it the top-grossing American film to date
in 2021. It was released as a PVOD rental on July 29, where it is available for Kaleidescape owners as a Premium Rental for $21.95, in full 4K HDR and Dolby TrueHD Atmos quality.
If you’re a fan of the franchise, you’ll be happy to know that the gang is mostly here for this one, and the film includes nearly every returning member of Toretto’s crew from past films save for Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). (Deckard Shaw [Jason Statham] has a brief mid-credits appearance in what I’m assuming is a tease for the next film.) We also have Charlize Theron returning as baddie Cipher, along with a new antagonist in the form of Jakob (John Cena), who is
—Dun dun DUH!!!—Dominic’s long-estranged brother! Sure, for a guy that has talked about almost nothing but the importance of family over the course of eight previous films, you might have expected him to have mentioned the fact that he had a brother at some point, but just refer to that part about thinking too much and asking too many questions. The film does a decent job of providing some backstory for this new brother dynamic, with some flashback scenes spread throughout that show the origins of their rocky relationship and how racing has always been in the Toretto blood.
While fans are coming to FF9 expecting a ton of over-the-top action set pieces with crashes and explosions aplenty—and, rest assured, you’ll get them—with a film like this, you’re also expecting to have a fun time. (Which is why Hobbs and Shaw is ultimately a far more entertaining film to watch.) Part of the problem is that the movie takes itself so seriously—especially Diesel, who sulks and growls his way through nearly every take—that it misses the fun part. John Cena has some comedic chops that are wasted here. Instead he spends most of his time on camera trying to out-brood Diesel.
The only two characters that seem to remember this isn’t actually life and death and meant to be entertaining are long-time members of Toretto’s crew, Tej (Ludacris) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson). The scenes between them offered the film’s few chuckles as well as some really self-aware fun-poking at some of the franchise’s more ridiculous bits with lines like, “I was just thinking if this was a movie, this would be the part where . . .” or “You know ain’t no one gonna believe this, right?” or “I’m not even going to mention that part about the submarine [from the last movie]” that lets the audience know that these guys are aware of the ridiculous situations we’re watching.
I’m not sure there’s any point in trying to explain the plot. For one, I’m not sure I could, and, let’s be honest, the film’s plot isn’t what’s going to bring you to the table for this. Suffice to say, there’s this super-weapon thing called the Aries—a two-part device that if assembled and activated basically gives someone control over every computer on the planet. Or something. Dom’s crew is trying to get it before Jakob and his crew, and they follow various clues and bits of information around the world—South America, London, Tokyo, Edinburgh, Tbilisi—in an attempt to stop him. Insert car chases, crashes, gunfire, fist fights, and explosions throughout. Oh, and they launch a modified Pontiac Fiero into space. You know, the yoozh.
So, is it worth your time? Well, I’ll say this . . . it looks and sounds great, so if you’re willing to invest nearly two and a half hours in something for the sake of a quality home theater experience, this delivers. While IMDB reports it was filmed in 3.4K and this is taken from a 2K digital intermediate, the image quality was so terrific throughout—just clean, sharp, and detailed—
I was sure this was a 4K DI transfer. The only exception tis the flashback scenes that occur in 1989 and look much softer, grainier and “film-like” by design.
Closeups reveal tons of facial detail, including every pore and bit of stubble on Diesel’s face and head, or the texture in the ever-present ribbed muscle-T’s that make up the entirety of Torreto’s wardrobe. There’s also plenty of detail in long shots, with scenes shot in London and Edinburgh looking fantastic, with razor-sharp building edges and clearly defined brick and stonework.
There are a lot of moments for the HDR grading to shine, with bright headlights gleaming during night races, flashlights and fluorescents illuminating dark garages, tunnels, and hideouts, or the bright neon lighting and signs in Tokyo. The actors’ faces are also often shown in warm, golden-colored lighting, and HDR gives nice shadow depth and detail.
The audio mix also delivers with an aggressive Atmos mix, using all of the speakers to immerse you in the action. You get cars racing well outside the main channels, along the side walls and into the back of the room, things zipping and flying overhead, dust and debris from explosions cascading down all around, and the zing of bullet hits. In the film’s quieter moments, we also get some nice
ambience with outdoor sounds of bugs, birds, and wind noise. Your subwoofer will get a nice workout as well, with explosions and collisions that deliver satisfying low-end that can rattle your couch.
With the shortage of new content hitting the home market, FF9 provides a big summer blockbuster to “enjoy” that will likely be a crowd pleasure for a big movie-night watch party. And fans/haters of the series will be happy to hear there are already two more films planned to conclude the series. Obviously, if they don’t use Fur10us as part of the next title, someone should be fired.
Probably the most experienced writer on custom installation in the industry, John Sciacca is co-owner of Custom Theater & Audio in Murrells Inlet, South Carolina, & is known for his writing for such publications as Residential Systems and Sound & Vision. Follow him on Twitter at @SciaccaTweets and at johnsciacca.com.